Ryan's Live Journal. Holy Shit.

6:49PM - Back from a Long Hiatus

As per your request, I have now updated my journal.

Huzzah.

7:40PM - And So It Begins...

Hey Theater Folk.

For those of you who may not know and stumble across this, there will be

AUDITIONS for Generic Theater Company's production of

Edward Albee's THE GOAT, or WHO IS SYLVIA

next MONDAY, OCTOBER 11 from 7:30 to 10:30 in Phillips 104

and TUESDAY, OCTOBER 12 from 7:30 to 10:30 in Phillips B120

directed by yours truly. Go here for more about the show and the characters. See you there.

12:31AM - Musings

Pro New Jersey shirts are quickly going out of fashion. When they were novel, there was something clever and fresh about seeing someone walking around with "Don't Fuck with Jersey" across their boobs. Now it's starting to look overplayed and actually not helping the cause. We need to get over those.

Also, Ireland needs to get over James Joyce. He was brilliant, but he died in 1941. Choose a new writer to worship.

"A Home at the End of the World" is rank shit. I spent 3/4 of the movie waiting for it to end. If you want to really know the story, read the book by Michael Cunningham.

"Hero", however, is definitely NOT rank shit. This is the most lyrically told, visually sumptuous movie since "Snow Falling on Cedars". Its images will knock you out.

I'm tired of seeing those yellow wristbands for Lance Armstrong's Testicular Cancer.

Dick Cheney's absurd and outrageous assertion that a vote for John Kerry is a vote for another terrorist attack upon the U.S. is just another reason to vote for John Kerry. And the fact that Americans are believing that crapola is another reason to find a new country to call home if Bush wins in November.

Current mood: contemplative

12:41PM

The first week back at GW has been insanely busy...feels like I've been here a month already.

We had the 24-Hour Play this weekend, which pretty much sucked the life out of all of us, but we had an amazing, amazing time. The sketch I wrote was very difficult and went over unbelievably well, I was very happy with the direction and casting. The rest of the plays were equally as successful--for the the highlights were when I laughed til I cried at the "Tradition" parody (the lyrics of which I cannot repeat on this site, sadly) and a sketch when a couple who moves into a new house is giving a housewarming gift of a baby from their neighbors. Great stuff. We also wrote a sketch involving Indrina getting hit by the car--which in our version was driven by Michael Phelps, who turns out to be gay...we wrote 5 different versions of the sketch--a Neil Simon (everybody's Jewish), a David Mamet (everybody curses a lot), a Samuel Beckett (nothing makes sense) and a Tony Kushner (replete with lots of symbolism, and appearances by the Angel from Angels in America and Governor McGreevey). Indrina, Matt, Andrew, Janet, Joe and Myself starred in our self-written sketch as the finale to the show. They loved it. We had a blast.

After this three-day weekend classes start in earnest. For me, that means lots and lots of reading. I should turn off the U.S. Open. But it only comes once a year...

Current mood: drained

12:06AM - My Room is Bare

Tomorrow morning I will leave Freehold, New Jersey for Washington, DC and the start of my Junior year of college.

Holy fuck.

Is it really half-way over?

I cannot wait for this year to begin--I have the strongest sense that it is going to be filled with wonderful things. I'm looking forward to my classes, I'm really looking forward to helming "The Goat" this fall, seeing my friends (and making new ones), and immersing myself in Washington, a place abstracted from reality that I have come to love and call home.

I'm ready to go--but I do go with some sort of heaviness...someone asked me recently, "Why do want out of Freehold so much? I think it's a treasure." She was right - Freehold is a treasure - it's the type of place you wouldn't expect to be part of New Jersey. And I'm glad that before I bolted from here, I was able to see that too.

I had my summer stolen from me...worked a full-time job and made money but had little time for much else...to those who saw less of me than they would have liked this summer, I apologize. For those who saw more of me than they would have liked this summer, tough.

Ready or not, here I come G-dub...

2:53PM - Avenue Q

I think I have found my new favorite musical.

Yuhong's birthday was this weekend; we celebrated on Friday with some Karaoke...On Saturday I had my class in the City and then she and Amanda met me for dinner at Benihana's (with a middle-eastern chef named Karim who spoke Spanish and pretended to be Japanese) and then an evening performance of "Avenue Q".

How is it possible not to love a show that features songs like "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist," "The Internet is for Porn," "If You were Gay," and "You Can Be as Loud as the Hell you Want (When you're Makin' Love)"? I didn't stop smiling for an instant.

Sure, there have been more spectacular shows. But this one stole my heart. I wanna go back. To top it off we ran into John Tartaglia in the street after the show. Totally by accident, we didn't wait at the door or anything. He's adorable. That made my night.

Go see it if you have the chance!

4:32PM - Right On.

Love ya Matty

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9:11PM - Frozen, I Am My Own Wife, Caroline or Change

The best thing about being in the City every Saturday for my class at the HB Studios this summer is all the theater I've gotten to see. Thus far I've seen four shows (soon to be 5, once I see Avenue Q next weekend). Thus far, the only show I've written about was Gypsy--a taught, polished production with a stellar performance from Bernadette Peters...I've never quite fallen in love with "Gypsy," however and remain cool to the show itself. Here's a brief rundown of the other three I've checked out in recent weeks...

Frozen, by Bryony Lavery

If you want a lesson in great acting, look no further than the trio of performances given by Swoosie Kurtz, Brian F. O'Byrne and Laila Robins in this spare but involving work about the murder of a little girl, the grief and movement towards forgiveness of her mother, the coldly impenetrable world of her killer, and the psychiatrist that attempts to penetrate it. So often these types of plays can slip into the alluring but overused traps of grief, woe and redemption...but this one steers far clear of that. At no point in this play does the action even nod to the melodramatic--it's a work of dogged precision, and dwells enitrely in a place of complexity of emotion, never unjustly reducing its characters to broad, one-sentence stereotypes (find no "grief-ridden, despairing mother" or "crazy, maniacal serial killer" here). The climax of the play is in the second act in which the mother of the murdered girl, named Nancy (Kurtz) goes to the prison to visit her daughter's killer, Ralph (O'Byrne)--not to scream at him, nor to induce guilt, nor to kill him herself--but to forgive him. It begins with a silent, unmoving stare between the two that lasts for what seems like five minutes. It's one of the most powerful moments I've seen on a Broadway stage. Director Doug Hughes keeps the tension so tightly wound during the scene that we're not quite sure if Nancy really going to be able to forgive, or if Ralph will be able to hold onto his stoicism. One thing bothered me--the set--which ironically enough, was just a backdrop of aqua blue, cracking, stabbing ice. A bit too ominous and in-your-face for the lighter, more understated parts of the play...I think something less obtrusive, more malleable to the shifting settings, and easier to light would've been better.

I Am My Own Wife, by Doug Wright 

I usually pass over these one-man play things, but the overwhelming amount of acclaim this one has garnered--Tony and Pulitzer wins, plus glowing reviews, made me go. The story of the play is that of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a German transvestite who survived both the Nazi and Stasi occupations--as it is whittily put in the play "in a pair of heels". True story. Charlotte died two years ago and the play is taken in large part from taped interviews Doug Wright had with her. Her story is fascinating--at times heartbreaking, at times heroic, at times questionable and possibly reprimandable; but always entirely human. It is a story of survival, more than anything else. Jefferson Mays gives a tour-de-force performance in the play portraying Mahlsdorf as well as some 40 other characters. He does all of it without any assistance from costumes or makeup; he does it all with his voice and his body. To watch him switch peronas in a split second with breathtaking ease is something like watching a magic trick--you really, really want to believe your own eyes that it's a totally different person you are watching, yet you know it is merely the result of a skilled magician--and you are left dumbfounded as to how the trick was performed. This is a performance not to be missed. The fact that so many characters come to life so fully realized out of a single person is utterly astounding. While compelling, I found a bit of the storytelling to be muddled and at times difficult to follow; this is because of two things. The playwright has insisted upon inserting himself into the play as one of its main characters--a choice that removes us from the action, usually just when it seems to be picking up steam; second, because of this, the play cannot follow any sort of linear progression through time and thus all of the jumping back and forth through time will befuddle those not very well informed about that period in history. Nevertheless, it remains a thoughtful, finely wrought production featuring a phenomenal performance--to watch Mays onstage is truly a phenomenon.

Caroline, or Change Music by Jeanine Tesori, Lyrics and Book by Tony Kushner

It's so rare these days that we see a musical that attempts to do something totally and completely different--and still be a satisfying musical. The story of a weary, uninspired black maid and her odd friendship with the little boy of the Jewish family she works for in 1963 Louisiana, replete with actors portraying roles such as "The Washing Machine," "The Radio," "The Dryer," and "The Moon", and nevermind the fact that the entire show is sung, certainly fits into that category. Could we have expected any less of Tony Kushner? This is a show that has a story to tell--probably the most humane and gripping of any new musical to open this season--but refuses to tell it in a conventional way. It's a huge gamble, but I am pleased to say it paid back--bigtime. There a moments in "Caroline" that are simply brilliant, no other word for it; among them, a sequence in which a tableau is created on stage with almost every character in the show - beautifully sung, stunningly staged; a couple of telepathic bedtime conversations Caroline has with the boy, Noah--she sitting on the steps of her house, he in his bed in his room; and Caroline's wrenching 11-o'clock number "Lot's Wife". Tonya Pinkins (Caroline) gives one of the most utterly convincing, evenly drawn, fully developed performances in a musical that I have ever seen. She is dour, cold and resistant on the surface, which at first glance would generally not make for a dynamic lead character in a musical, but there is never a moment when you do not feel the blood boiling just beneath her skin. She releases it with atomic force in "Lot's Wife," which does not try to reach the height of a Broadway belter like "Rose's Turn," but strikes a rare and enthralling note as it balances meditation with old-fasioned showstopping. It's a wonderful, wonderful performance. Veanne Cox is perfect as Noah's new, well-meaning stepmother who tries just a bit too hard, and Anika Noni Rose is a breath of fresh air as Caroline's rebellious teenage daughter Emmie; it's a performance of true Broadway euphoria. Tesori's score is a delcious blend of 60s anthems and Rhythm and Blues inspired showtunes, and Kushner's lyrics range from fine to good to great (in Kushner fashion, they are, of course, endlessly metaphorical). George C. Wolfe's deft direction keeps the show moving at a smooth, liquid pace and creates some striking visual pictures. "Caroline" never quite found its audience, though--it ain't the tourist magnet a la Wicked, The Producers, or The Lion King--and is sadly closing on August 29th. It's a shame that a spellbinding musical like this couldn't have lasted a bit longer.

I'm due see Avenue Q next weekend for Yuhong's birthday. I already love the cleverness of the music, so hopefully my high expectations will be met.

10:42AM - Concerning the Garden State's Tireless Need to be Controversial

I'm sure everybody's already heard about Gov. McGreevey flying out of the closet and announcing his resignation today. If you haven't, you should probably remove your head from your sphincter and learn about something called CNN.

To begin with, I need to say that what he did took an enormous amount of courage and grace, something that will go unappreciated due to first and foremost, the scandals surrounding the admission, and second, pure and simply bigotry.

To say that the Governor resigned because he is gay is not entirely true. He had a relationship with (allegedly) a man named Golan Cipel whom he appointed to the position of Homeland Security Adviser. Cipel (allegedly) was blackmailing McGreevey for millions of dollars or he was going to come forward about the relationship. McGreevey refused, Cipel secured a lawyer to fire a sexual harassment lawsuit, and McGreevey decided to come clean about his sexuality and the affair before Cipel had a chance to humiliate him.

Now, we've seen countless other politicians go through the same type of scandal (Clinton, Guiliani) and come out the back door with more public esteem than ever before. The clear difference in this case is that is has to do with a MAN, not a woman. That is very unfortunate.

It's a tough call. One can understand the Governor's desire to get himself and his family out of the limelight due to the admonishment that will come his way. The sad thing is, there would not be that kind of attention if he had an affair with a woman. Such malicious threats of scandal and innuendo would not be reason to resign the post he has worked his life trying to secure.

I worked for the Governor last summer. Dropped the morning press clippings on his desk everyday. Back then we heard the rumors. We heard the rumors that his wife wasn't even with him on their family vacation two years ago when he broke his leg. We heard the rumors when he ran for governor in 1997.

What a relief this must be to him to finally come clean about it. You could see it in his face when he was making his speech. Why couldn't the man admit it before hand? As he said, it had a lot to do with being accepted.

Let me ask: how many high-profile gay politicians do we have in this country?

That's not an accident. That's not natural selection at work, kids. That's just the way things are--you can't be open about being gay and be governor; the conventional wisdom is that you will be rejected. That is why the man could not be honest before this--he wanted to have a public life. And when push came to shove and he had to be honest, he was forced to relinquish it.

Whether or not anybody wishes to admit it, THAT is the underlying issue--that is what started the ball rolling. And that is something to be ashamed of. 

Current mood: discontent

11:41AM

I'm a big film person, that's no secret to you all...being that we're now on the eve of the fall film stampede in which the studios pull out their big guns, here's my thoughts on the few success stories thus far this year. Among them: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Shrek 2, Goodbye Lenin!, The Manchurian Candidate, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Kill Bill Vol. 2 and Fahrenheit 9/11.

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10:50AM - Back with a Vengeance

So...where were we?

Clearly I've been irritatingly remiss about updating my blog (you'll note my last entry as June 3). Well, that slugglish summer slothfulness (say that 10x) is all going to end. I'm back.

Not that I went anywhere to begin with. Since I returned from Vegas my life has been largely uneventful. Nothing extraordinary to report, and perhaps that's why I didn't. But browsing through my friends' ljs has brought me to the conclusion that seldom does anyone write about anything significant on these things, and that's probably the way it should be. It's our own little masturbatory forum to sound off on anything we please. Huzzah.

So here I go.

This summer I am working as Office Bitch at the Division of Youth and Family Services in our lovely state capital, Trenton. I know, it has nothing to do with my interests, my major, my career--it's $12 an hour. The end. Plus, it's a hell of a lot less pressure than working for the Governor, which I did last summer. Oh citizens of NJ, if you only knew where your tax dollars are going...

Sadly I've been to the beach nearly nil, the thing I love most about the Garden State, because I work until 4:30 every day and on Saturdays I'm in the city taking an acting class at the HB Studios (RIP Uta Hagen). I'm learning the subway really well. And Sunday, of course, is the day of rest.

Going into the New York every Saturday has been great, but I feel pretty much the same as I always have about the City. It's unlike any other place in the world and unparalleled in the amount of culture it has to offer, I love being so close...but I really don't think I could ever LIVE there. There's nothing calm or aesthetically pleasing about NYC (even the Park can be chaotic); one of the reasons I chose D.C. to go to college is because it's undoubtedly a CITY with all that a city has to offer, but it feels more like a town--it has the ambition, drive and resources of the North and the serenity and beauty of the South. It's perfect.   

What else has been going on...against all odds I've gotten addicted to going to the gym (happy endorphins=natural high), been trudging away at completing my play, fallen in love with Gavin DeGraw, been charmed by Teresa Heinz Kerry, watched the first season of The Office, seen "Frozen" on Bway, and have reaped Amanda's Barnes and Noble employee discount for all its worth.

I've started the ball rolling on "The Goat," enlisting Dominique Herard to be Stage Manager and Arielle Kahaner to be Assistant Director. Incredibly pleased with both those choices. This is a solid start...

I miss D.C. like you wouldn't believe. Homesickness abound. How many more weeks of summer are left?

Current mood: hungry

6:43PM - Viva Las Vegas

First thing's first...there's plenty of pictures of Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon that go with this story, check them out here. 

When I first got to Vegas I was a bit aloof to the whole thing, I kept thinking WHAT is there to DO in this place if you're not 21 (9mos and counting...)!?! Sure, there's TONS to look at, but the real fun seemed to be either in the casinos (thrown out once) or at the bars (didn't even bother). Las Vegas seemed to be one big tease to me when I got there--look, don't touch--but by the time I left, I sort of loved it in all its tacky, glossy, glittery, exploitative, desperate, overhwelming glory.

Aka, it represents everything Al Qaeda hates about our country, which my father pointed out on the plane ride over (which made my mother feel really safe). The city is like some sort of drug. Once you settle in, you become completely entrenched. It surrounds you, overwhelms you, doesn't let you breathe, doesn't let you think--doesn't let you out. And anyway, where is there to go? There's desert, and then mountains. That's it. They got you right where they want you.

So I was sort of fascinated by it all--it's a city that knows exactly what it's doing as it takes complete advantage of everybody, yet people know this, and freely let themselves be taken advantage of. It's a sinfully glorious waltz.

We stayed at the Luxor (that's the big Pyramid, Egyptian-themed), where the wedding was. The rooms outline the exterior; we were on the 18th floor--my mom had serious problems riding the elevators and looking downward. It's the second-largest hotel in America, the first being the MGM Grand, across the street. All the hotels there are gigantic. The Bellagio was my personal fav, though the Venetian came in close second. Check out the pics for all that stuff.

The wedding was...you know, a wedding, made brighter by a couple of standouts: I discovered the Church takes tokens from the casinos in their collection baskets, the priest had a giant hairpiece that made him look like Elvis's father, and everyone was asked to perform a certain hand motion during the ceremony that looked perversely like the entire congregation was saluting Hitler--once again, you can find all this in the pics.

Saw three different shows while I was there--The Blue Man Group, which left me...scratching my head. I guess there's gotta be some show for the tourists that don't speak English. I also saw Lewis Black, who was angrier (and funnier) than ever; my favorites were "Under God. Don't we have better shit to discuss than the Pledge of Allegiance? You know what the Pledge of Allegiance is? Coffee for elementary school kids" and "Condoleezza Rice testified for the 9/11 commission, which was a total fucking waste of time. Why didn't they just have a miniature schnauzer go up there and bark?" Last was George Carlin, who I was really looking forward to, but disappointed me. He's losing his touch at almost the same rate he's losing his hair.

We went out to the Grand Canyon after everything had died down in Vegas. Long ride out there--with absolutely nothing on either side of you. But totally worth it. I'm not even going to try to describe what a spectacular experience that was, you're better off just checking out the pictures I posted. I'm going to make it back there to raft the Colorado one day, and see the thing from the bottom up. So that's one wonder down, six to go.

I hope you've enjoyed this little narrative of my trip, I remembered as much as I could. I shall leave with with a few quotes I found particularly entertaining over the past week:

Karen: "Bobby, wasn't it in Ft. Lauderdale that you ended up locked on the roof of the hotel in your underwear?" (silence.)

Mom (to Dad): "So are you coming home with your tail between your legs tonight or do you have some cash in your pockets?"

Dad: "That's a tough woman."

Caroline: "Kate, I'm 25. I know about drinking responsibly, okay?"

Kate: "Actually, Caroline, you're 30."

Dad: "We're at the Hoover Dam. Ry, take a picture of this shit."

Bobby: "No lunch. Let's save room for the big dinner tonight."

Karen: "Bobby, save yourself. I'm goin' to the Buffet."

Mom: "I hope we're still on 93 South."

Dad: "Jackie. There's one road out here."

10:58PM - Pau's Visit, Off to Vegas

Soo..

Paulina came to visit on Sunday and left today. We had an amazing time! We went into New York on Sunday and saw "Gypsy" with Bernadette Peters. It was, in a word, fabulous. We both loved it, and so did the entire audience it seemed--Bernadette got about a 3 min. standing ovation after she did Rose's Turn...I've never seen that happen before, a standing o in the middle of a show. She was great. There was another first during that show for me--in the second act, they couldn't bring a curtain down and so they stopped the show, a voice overhead claiming technical difficulties. Stopped for a good ten minutes. But the show was so great it was easy to overlook that mishap.

We tried to get into Carmine's on 43rd for dinner but the wait was an hour and a half, so we took a cab to the one on 91st and got seated within a half hour. The food was wonderful, as usual. We felt soo stuffed afterwards that we walked the entire way back from 91st to the car on 42nd and 9th, with a stop in Times Square for some nighttime photo ops. We had a ball.

On Monday we played it local. I took Pau to see my high school--as we were driving by, I saw Mr. Reilly out on the lawn rehearsing with the kids for New Hope (the competition's on Thursday--knock 'em dead) and so we stopped by for a while and talked. It was great to see everybody.

Went to Fed's for lunch (as nobody should pass through Freehold and not have a Fed's pizza) and then off to Pt. Pleasant to walk the beach and the boards. It was a BEAUTIFUL day to do that...I'm so glad we made it down there. Sampled some NJ Salt Water Taffy and played a lot of Skee Ball.

Went to dinner with Mom and Dad at El Meson for dinner that night--we sat outside under the tarp, which was great until it started raining and the tarp started leaking. But the food was good. Headed off to Jersey Freeze and Blockbuster...we rented "Seven". Creepy.

Went for a job interview at Target this morning--hired on the spot, but informed just afterwards that it's looking good for a paid internship at the Department of Human Services in Trenton. Pau and I went for lunch at Cornerstone and then some Rita's Ice (Pau found the custard to be a religious experience) and before I knew it, it was time for her to drive back to DC. Boo. We had an amazing time, though--I'm so thrilled she came.

TOMORROW, I'm off to VEGAS for a WEEK. My cousin's wedding. I know, a planned wedding. In Vegas. Eh? You all know me, I'm not terribly fond of weddings, but I'm glad to be going to see my family and we're heading out to the Grand Canyon overnight, so that should be cool. I've got my camera ready.

6:21PM - Elephant

Yesterday was a day for movies. Actually, it was a day for the beach, but Amanda and Yuhong coerced me into going to see "Envy", the awesomely awful film starring Jack Black and Ben Stiller.

It goes something like this--Jack Black and Ben Stiller are both married with kids, live across the street from each other, and work together. Black comes up with a what might be the worst idea ever concieved, a spray that makes dog poo disappear, called "Vapoorize", which Stiller dismisses when asked if he wants in on the deal. Vapoorize is of course a fantastic success and Black becomes filthy rich. He's such a nice guy, however, that he decides not to move away from his best friend, but rather to build a gargantuan mansion across the street from Stiller, who continues to live in a shoebox. Stiller then of course goes on a rampage of jealousy (which includes shooting a horse with a bow and arrow). The movie also involves flan in a tube. The movie was seriously sub-par, with the exception of the dazzling Rachel Weisz (as Stiller's wife), who can make pretty much anything work she's in; and also Christopher Walken, who has some fun as a bum enlisted by Stiller for advice.

So enough of the bad--onto the good. I rented a movie last night called "Elephant," which I'd wanted to see ever since I heard it won the Palme D'Or at Cannes last year. It's written and directed by Gus Van Sant (of Good Will Hunting) and involves a high school shooting. Inevitably, there's echoes of Columbine, sure, but it's completely fictional. I've never seen anything quite like it. Everything was fresh and unique. The camera work is intensely subtle, consisting mostly of long tracking shots and keeping a tight focus on a single actor. We always know what we should be looking at. Van Sant only used two real actors in the film, both adults. All of the students are real high school kids, who are startlingly natural and eminently watcheable (makes you want to fall down on your knees and thank Van Sant for not casting Jennifer Love Hewitt or Freddy Prinze Jr., as I'm sure a stuido wanted him to).

When it was first reviewed some critics didn't know what exactly to make of it, because it's chillingly detached--there's no gradiose emotional breakdowns, no heroic resolution, no catharsis of any kind. One might assume that the point of such a film is to get into the mind of the two boys that shoot down their fellow students, and come to some sort of conclusion about what drives a person to do such a thing. But Van Sant chooses not to go there.
The matter-of-fact tone of the piece suggests that he is saying that there's no way to qualify such senseless violence, and ultimately, no way to truly prevent the same thing from happening again.

The film audaciously breaks dozens of the laws of Hollywood. In one particular moment in the film, the camera follows a heroic-looking African-American boy slowly down the hallway, and by the laws of Hollywood we're expected to believe that the attention devoted to this young man means that he's going to be the one to put an end to it all, or at least have some sort of significant role to play; we don't expect it when he's simply, quickly shot down.

There's no conventional scoring, only two musical compositions are used in the film--Mozart's Fur Elise and Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. There's no morales forced down our throats; the cinematography is lyrical, poetic, strangely beautiful--it's not filmed with tension designed to lead us to a nail-biting climax; Van Sant doesn't want us to scream, he doesn't want us to cry--he just lets us watch. It's something we're so not used to seeing in a film that when the credits roll it feels a bit abrupt and unexpected.

This one is definately worth a spin in your DVD players if you haven't seen it. It's a well-spent 81 mins. You'll want to talk about it afterwards with your friends.

10:55PM - Back to F-Town

Well, well. I'm back. In Freehold.

Sense the excitement?

I don't mean to bad-mouth my hometown. The problem is, it's just not where my life is anymore. Freehold will always be my home--that won't change. But is it where I want to live, where I want to be? Not anymore.

I guess I should soak it up and enjoy everything about this summer that I can, because I'll probably not be coming back this way again, to live, at least. Next summer I'll be either in New Zealand or DC. And my parents are going to retire in the not-too-distant future and probably move down South. So, I have plenty to look forward to this summer--I have great friends to catch up with, Jersey Freeze, Downtown, Cornerstone, Graduation of high school buddies, Rita's Ice, books to read and movies to see, plus I've made a promise to myself that by summer's end I will have a completed full-length play and a hefty collection of short stories.

But there's also tons that I'm missing about DC:

-Au Bon Pain sandwiches, cookies and peach iced tea
-Being able to use my GWorld EVERYWHERE
-Midnight walks to the monuments
-Being wide awake after midnight and there being stuff to do
-Student Discounts
-Georgetown
-Crazy ass LaRouche protestors. gotcha.
-The Smithsonian and all the free museums
-The world's best gelato, which is not free, but is at the Smithsonian
-My Critical Methods Prof. and her wonderful and wicked insights on life, like, "Barney is shit. It confuses the hell out of kids. One minute they tell you that YOU are special, and the next they sing a song about how everyone is special. And of course we live with this delusion until we grow up and find out that none of us are special."
-Nightlife.
-Jamba Juice
-Cosi
-Kramer's, all those great, unusual books and the Dysfunctional Family Sundae
-Most of all--people. Some of whom are still in DC, which makes being at home even more difficult :o(

But I am enjoying reconnecting with everybody here as well. I've got a summer full of sun, beach, road-trips, and relaxation(Oh yeah and I've got to get a job). If I think of it in those terms, it makes it slightly easier to be away from DC. Slightly.

Current mood: tired

8:59PM - Generic Awards, Goats, and Such

Quite a week. I feel as if I've been writing papers most of the time. However, I am now FINISHED...turned in my last one yesterday. Now all I have to worry about is four exams. Pie.

The Generic Theater Awards were last night, and they were a blast, even if I lost Best Supporting Actor and Best Duo (the latter to a puppet) it was a fantastic time. A Bright Room Called Day did really well, taking Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress and Best Design Team. Rumors, in an appropriately satiric fashion, took the really important awards, Best Bio and Best Tech Crew. Woot. Best Bio was especially entertaining as it went to Arielle, whose Rumors bio told the story of her big stage debut at camp in which she peed on stage. They gave her a box of Depends Diapers when she won. Seriously, I was so proud of my two shows this year, and being there along with everybody I worked with was amazing.

I never realized just how many people are graduating this year until last night. There's going to be a big whole to fill. I will miss many of them, and I'm glad I got a chance to work with people like Caroline and Russ before they graduate. I think they've all done a great job.

So the BIG NEWS is that I'm DIRECTING a show for Generic in the Fall! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY. It's called THE GOAT, OR WHO IS SYLVIA and it's awesome. It involves a world-renowned architect at the pinnacle of his career who must admit to his best friend, his wife, and his son that he's been having an affair with a certain Sylvia--who is (you got it) A GOAT. Sounds ridiculous and silly, doesn't it? Well it's by Edward Albee, so bury those notions right now. I hope everybody comes out to auditon next fall. It seems like it's going to be a great season for Generic--Maggie Dempsey and Matt Johnson are directing the other two productions, and I think our shows complement each other. I'm excited.

Current mood: content

4:06PM - I never to surveys...

But this one is different. Thanks to MJ for this one.

REAL NAME: Ryan McGlone
LAST SHOW YOU ADDED TO YOUR RESUME: Rumors
LAST SHOW YOU AUDITIONED FOR: Rumors
DID YOU GET INTO IT: Rumors. I mean...yes.
LAST SONG YOU USED AT AN AUDITION: I think it was "Use What You've Got" from The Life.
FAVORITE THEATER (VENUE): The Ford Center for the Performing Arts on 42nd Street in NYC.
FAVORITE PLAY: My favorites are "Art" by Yasmina Reza, "Wit" by Margaret Edson and "The Goat or Who is Sylvia" by Edward Albee.
FAVORITE MUSICAL: "Ragtime"
FAVORITE ROLE & FROM WHAT SHOW: Mercutio, "Romeo and Juliet"
NAME A THEATRE SUPERSTITION: are there others besides the break a leg thing?
LAST PART YOU PLAYED IN A SHOW: Ken Gorman in Rumors
YOUR GOAL IN SHOW BUSINESS: to have actors falling over each other to be in the next play or film i write.
FAVORITE DIRECTOR: Michael Blakemore
WHAT WAS YOUR VERY FIRST SHOW: Charlotte's Web
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DANCE SOLO: Heh...sort of.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SINGING SOLO: Several
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BOW: I've been close!
NAME A SHOW YOU'VE DONE TWO OR MORE TIMES: Jesus Christ Superstar
HAVE YOU BEEN TO NEW YORK: Too many times to count.
HAVE YOU BEEN TO LA: nope
SCARIEST PART OF AN AUDITION: waiting to go in
BEST PART OF AN AUDITION: getting a smile, a laugh, a tear..SOMETHING.
NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN: Camelot
NAME A SHOW YOU COULD DO FOR YEARS: None.
NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO DO BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN IN: Romeo and Juliet
NAME A PERSON YOU'D LIKE TO WORK WITH AGAIN: Arielle Kahaner...because she makes me laugh like none other.
WHAT ARE YOU AUDITIONING FOR NEXT: no idea
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PERFORMING: i came out of the womb performing
DO YOU CARRY YOUR HEADSHOTS AROUND WITH YOU: what narcissistic putz does that...?
DO YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH PAST CAST MEMBERS: i try
ON A SCALE OF 1-10 HOW IMPORTANT IS GETTING PAID: 11
WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE PERFORMANCE: Adolph in The Last Night of Ballyhoo or Billy in Anything Goes
WHAT'S SOMETHING EMBARRASSING OR UNEXPECTED THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE ON STAGE: My moustache fell of during Oklahoma
WHO IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON (ON STAGE OR OFF) THAT YOU HAVE EVER WORKED WITH: When i was in Lost in Yonkers the kid that played Arty had a sort of mild form of narcolepsy. Made things difficult.
EVER BEEN NAKED ON STAGE?: nope
WHO OR WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST INSPIRATION OR INFLUENCE? i dunno
IF YOU COULD BE A RICH FAMOUS PORN STAR OR A STRUGGLING THEATRE ACTOR WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? porn star. bow-chika-bow-wow
BEST PROFESSIONAL SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: "The Goat or Who is Sylvia", "Into the Woods", "Hairspray", "Ragtime".
BEST COLLEGE SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: erm....
BEST AMATEUR/COMMUNITY SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: "Tommy" at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ
BEST HIGH SCHOOL SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN: "Last Night of Ballyhoo"
ONSTAGE, HAVE YOU EVER...
a) Been killed? no
b) Been drunk / stoned? yes/no
c) Played someone half your age? 10? no
d) Played someone twice your age? yep
e) Cried? yep
f) Fired a gun? yep
g) Driven a car? no..too bad
h) Been drenched? no
i) Been in a dream sequence? yes
j) Been kissed? yes
k) Played someone of the opposite sex? no
IF YOU WERE ON BROADWAY RIGHT NOW, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN AND WHAT ROLE WOULD YOU PLAY?: can we rewind a couple years and pretend like Les Miz is still on Broadway and I'm Marius?

Current mood: contemplative

10:59AM - MIA

So...it's been a while since I've been here. My head has been swimming lately...lost among papers, exams, Easters, papers, exams...

So unfortunately I don't have very much of anything worthwhile to say. Registration for next semester was a few days ago and I think that pretty much pissed everybody around ole G-dub off..."Registration will commence at 7am"..."Registration will now commence at 10am"..."Registration should be working SOMETIME before noon"..."Registration will be working whenever the hell we feel like it. Go away and leave us alone." Fuck you, G-dub. Like we've really got nothing better to do than babysit our computers all day to see if registration is up and running. I'm considering forming a lynch mob and heading down to the Office of the Registrar. Let me know if you're in.

I guess I shouldn't bitch, I didn't do THAT badly...scored three out of five, which is better than a lot of other people...although as a JUNIOR I should be getting every class I need. So it's two Creative Writing classes--Intermediate Fiction I and Dramatic Writing, American Realism, Literature Live (I know, it sounds like a talk show; and it kind of is...you read the books and then the authors come into class and talk--this one hinges dangerously between the inspirational and the constipational..we'll see) and Rocks For Jocks...cuz, ya know, I'm a jock.

I'm sitting in the library attempting to look studious among the sea of other eager young minds, but I should really head up to the fourth floor because my class starts in two minutes. Bye for now my friends..

PS. Kill Bill Vol. 2 opens on Friday, which makes me think it's time to see Kill Bill Vol. 1...

Current mood: numb

3:26PM - I'm Still Here

So I've been in LJ limbo for over a week now...don't worry. I'm alive.

Had a big event last week. Richard McCann, a poet and fiction writer, had a reading on campus. He also happens to be a friend of my Creative Writing professor so four of us from class got to go out with him and Richard for dinner. I didn't really know who Richard McCann was, and truthfully I didn't care all that much. I was just looking forward to a free dinner at the UClub. Well, he wound up fascinating me. He came to our class that morning and talked with startling honesty about his work and how it reflects his life and his process...how believes everyone should write what they know, what belongs to them, even if that's a difficult thing to do--something I have major trouble with. So it was very inspirational. He also switched over to writing after years of wanting to be an actor, so I got to talk to him about playwriting and the things I'm interested in pursuing as well. He made a comment on my eyebrow ring saying it's the only piercing he's ever really liked; when he asked me if it hurt, I told him he should go for it. Even if he's 55.

Dinner was pretty amazing as well...three other students and two other professors in addition to us were there. I've said it before, but it bears repeating..the thing I love about the Creative Writing program here is how open everyone is to discussion and ideas. The Professors realize that they can learn as much from you as you can from them, and treat you to a certain degree like a fellow writer. And through the dinner discussion I found out how much I have in common with the my fellow eager young minds too. It was all pretty darn cool.

Kerry and Dean also came to campus this week; Dean making his official endorsement of Kerry. It's crazy how the kids at this school turn out for those political things. The line was wrapped around the block like WHOA at 9am, and the damn thing didn't start until noon. I had the pleasure of having a midterm in the building right next door to the whole event, listening to about 10 looped songs play over and over for like an hour until they both came out and spoke for like 10 minutes each. The upside was that you could see right over the crowd from the windows in the building, so screw all your morons who got on line at 9am!

The weather has been really beautiful here in DC for the past few days. I don't want it to go away. The cherry blossoms are blooming and it's a pretty stunning walk around campus.

FYI for those interested...if you're bored from 10-11pm on Sunday nights you should turn on DEADWOOD on HBO - It premiered two weeks ago and I'm already hooked. It's the best new series HBO has put out since Six Feet Under.

Peace, kids. I got shit to read.

Current mood: refreshed

3:04PM - Spring Break

Back from Spring Break...the word I'll use is eclectic.

First spent a few days at home with the folks. Went into NYC for a sort of belated Birthday thing and saw the play Sly Fox with Richard Dreyfuss--very well done, great cast, very funny. Recommended. Also went to Carmine's uptown for dinner, which was spectacular as usual. Just can't get enough of that. Had a splendid time with the rents and it was nice to be home, even for just a short while.

Then went on to Boston Thursday so to see my pal Amandicus Reichicus at BU. Had a really awesome time there. She's such a thoughtful host. She made me take her bed. She wouldn't have it any other way.

We did lots of fun stuff...went to the Museum of Fine Arts--they have so much more ancient art than the National Gallery, I was pleasantly surprised by that, and Amanda got to see a Georgia O'Keefe she never had before, so it was cool. We saw a..erm..mediocre production of Noises Off Friday night that made Amanda sick to her stomach but was happily redeemed by a party that took place in Amanda's new digs for next year. Party was great...tried some new things...enjoyed myself. Struck by hunger at about..i dunno...1? 2? am we went out for pizza.

Amanda, me, and Connie (her roommate from Bethesda, great gal) sharpened our pool skills with a never-ending game of screw your neighbor on Saturday, and went out with some other people for really good Italian food and amazing pastries afterwards. Finished the night off with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which I inexplicably dozed through the previews and the first ten minutes of...yet I really did enjoy it. That Charlie Kaufman. Crazy ass mofo.

So in all, I had a great time and it was fantastic to see Amanda. She seems so happy, so in her element up there in Boston and every single one of her friends that I met I genuinely liked. Boston is a great city, but it seemed so congested to me...even more so than New York...there just seemed to be throngs of people everywhere.

Sunday I spent pretty much the entire day on an 8 HOUR train ride back to DC. I wanted to sleep, but it was so uncomfortable. So I read, I wrote, I listened to music, I talked to the woman sitting next to me about the asshole in front of us who shouted down his cell phone for most of the trip. I had a great time in Boston but I knew it the second I stepped off the train in Union Station and out the doors to see the dome of the Capital Building gleaming white against the black sky...this is my city. This is where I belong.

Current mood: calm